7.19.2012

"The Liberating Call to an Unheroic Life"


  If you read this post then you might be interested in this one below too- Thankful for a wise man that addresses the very thoughts in my previous post....


....If you don't have time to read the whole thing then just read the highlighted paragraphs (which were the ones that struck me the most...which I realized I highlighted almost the whole thing..oops). Hope it encourages you as it did me...it's long but worth the read. 




The LIberating call to an unheroic life (April 23, 2012) by Allen Levi
Today marks nine months since my dear brother/best friend/hero/mentor was diagnosed with inoperable brain cancer. Based on the initial diagnosis and a seemingly precipitous decline early on, i don’t think any of us expected that he would still be with us now. But he is, and his family and friends are deeply grateful for the lighthearted, hopeful, loving presence that he continues to be. 
When he got sick, i cancelled almost all of my work so that i could spend as much time as possible with him.  Some call it caregiving. i choose to call it ‘friendship’ or, more honestly, ‘selfish indulgence.’ How fortunate and blessed i am to have this season with him. 
The time at home has given me occasion, and at times has forced me, to sit, to think, to reflect a lot. And some of that reflection has lead to what, at present, is an ongoing but very incomplete conversation that i’m having with myself. 
It struck me recently that there has been a common theme, even if only implied, in many of the books that i’ve read in the past two or three years. The idea seems to go something like this: we are, as never before, all members of a global community due, in large part, to the fact that information about everything everywhere is readily available to us all the time via the internet. There are very significant, very real needs in the world today -- hunger, lack of clean water, human trafficking and slavery, environmental concerns, racial strife, nuclear threats, and so forth --  needs about which we can be thoroughly informed and toward which we, the church in particular, should be marshaling our most intense efforts.  The books encourage us, sometimes overtly and sometimes by suggestion, to take heroic steps to address the problems, to do things that are visible, newsworthy, and significant. Words like reckless, radical, passionate, extreme and crazy seem like the new template for what constitutes a genuinely Christian, biblically-oriented life. ... Big solutions to big problems. 
Now, before i go any further, let me say that i’ve been challenged, gratefully and deeply so, by the books i have in mind. They were and are thought-provoking and benefically irritating to me. And i do believe, if somewhat unconventionally, that ones who know and love and seek to follow Christ should be passionate (without being ostentatious), will be radical (but not because we intend to be), and might be deemed reckless or crazy (by those who don’t ascribe to the kingdom ethic). And i do wholeheartedly agree that it is part of the church’s mission, not just now but since the start, to be a voice, maybethe voice, for a compassionate and civil society. 
But let me make this confession: the books, whrther meaning to or not, leave me with a strong sense of guilt in me that i’m not doing what i should be doing to serve the King and the Kingdom. i find myself asking myself, as if faith is a competitive sport, if i am radical enough, or reckless or crazy or passionate enough. The question often leads to a mild embarrassment, or worse - contempt and ingratitude - for my quiet life in a small rural town. “Surely,” i tell myself, “i could be/should be doing more than i’m doing. All of the good Christians are doing momentous and dangerous and newsworthy things, like my brother has done for most of his adult life. Perhaps i should go far away, or move to the inner city, or do something worthy of a book.” The weight of those thoughts seems hardly encouraging or productive.
Some, of course, are called to bring down fire from heaven and slay giants and walk on water, and they are given courage and skill adequate to those tasks. But most of us, or so it appears to me, are called to live lives that are hardly heroic in the traditional sense of the word. Rather than courage for a short season, we are given perseverance for a long one. Instead of white hot passion, we are given devotion that burns with a slow, steady flame. Rather than a moment’s excitement about some burning cause of the day, we are given a lifetime’s commitment to THE Great Cause of eternity, which of course includes the here and now. 
One writer, after noting that Peter found it relatively easy to walk on water for a few seconds but difficult to follow Jesus on dry land week after week, notes that “It (requires) the supernatural grace of God to live twenty four hours in everyday as a saint, to go through the drudgery as a disciple, to live an ordinary, unobserved, ignored existence as a disciple of Jesus. It is inbred in us that we have to do exceptional things for God, but we have not. We have (only) to be exceptional in the ordinary things, to be holy in mean streets, (and to be loving) among mean people.”
The cancer season for me has been a sobering lesson in being small. But in the midst of it, even when i wrestle with my thoughts and guilt about how little i do for the Kingdom, i sense, from time to time, the quiet, humble, liberating invitation to an unheroic life. The quiet, humble, liberating invitation to an unheroic life. Liberating because it might just free me to genuinely love people -- individual souls up close rather than big causes from a distance -- and emancipate me from a slavish dependence on the praise and attention of others for my own sense of accomplishment.
The vocabulary for the present season is hardly glamorous. Passionate, extreme, crazy, radical - those words don’t seem to fit very well. Obscure, tedious, confining, tiring, unnoticed, but also, paradoxically, joyful, restful, real  -- those are the words that more honestly describe the landscape of my life these days or, for that matter, most of the days in my 55 years. And, unless i am sadly mistaken, those same words might well apply to the most significant of our human endeavors and to the most valued of human relationships. 
What, after all, are marriage and parenting but the unheroic call to lives of daily self-denial and attentiveness to the needs of another? What is it but a million small decisions made over a lifetime to view one’s life in reference to that of others, to the end that our loved ones will be poised to know the presence and blessing of God. It seems to me, from the outside looking in, that the love of spouse for spouse, or that of parent for child, can, at times and often for long seasons, be draining and unrewarded and, heaven forbid, unfulfilling. It is hard work. But what kind of world will it be when the humbling work of making family is altogether lost to our insistent call for individual happiness and self-fulfillment?   
What, after all, is friendship, rightly lived, but the unheroic call to a thousand small conversations, and a hundred thousand prayers, and a myriad of encouraging words from one person to another? What is it but the bearing of burdens, the sharing of resources, the asking of uncomfortable questions and the possible discomfort of necessary confrontation? 
What is citizenship but the unheroic call to dwell in a fallen world with an awareness that every small, infinitesimal life, lived with integrity or not, has potential bearing on every other small, infinitesimal in the body politic. What is it but the call to work ethically in the marketplace, to be a wise and generous steward of whatever wealth, property or giftedness God entrusts to us, and to live with kindness, compassion, and an understanding of right and wrong toward others? 
Please don’t misunderstand me. i am grateful for the heroic and inspiring among us. And i am very ware that all followers of Christ, heroic or not, are to be lights on a hill, to win the respect of outsiders, and to be courageous witnesses to truth. But maybe the way we best do all of those things is by accepting at the outset that our call is to be servants, not heroes; to be storytellers and not necessarily story subjects, and to “decrease so that (Christ) might increase.”  
My brother’s role at present it to be sick. My role at present is to be present. His is to be weak and forgetful. Mine is to be available and remembering. His is to be needy. Mine is to serve. For both of us, it is to be brothers, to be friends, to be alive, to show forth the love of God through “little, nameless, urnremembered acts of kindness and love.” It is small stuff. But it is the only stuff that matters, whether anyone else sees it or not. The One Who needs to see it, does see and does validate its acceptability. Otherwise, how could we possibly be so thankful, laugh so deeply, or sense such gladness in the very midst of it all? 

Unheroic Life  
(April 10, 2010) 
Capo I, standard tuning
i wake up early, say my prayers,
one more day I’ll not be going anywhere
no agenda, got no plans
but to be right here to help him any little way i can
in this humble, unheroic life
this humble, unheroic life
it feels so small, but i know it’s right (m’sweet brother’s keeper)
this humble, unheroic life
we go out walking a time or two
a hundred yards might be the best that he can do
read all his letters, try to read his mind
we might have one conversation maybe 10 or 15 times
you make no headlines, and you get no praise
no badge of honor, that’s quite OK
cause in the kingdom of the Lord
the chance to love (help/serve) someone you love is love’s reward
At times it’s heavy, i can’t lie
everyday is one step closer in this very long goodbye
but it’s an honor, even if it’s hard
the chance to be a servant to one precious child of God
OR
(Sometimes he tells me, “perhaps today”
i will finally cross on over where i’ll be at home to stay
in time you’ll join me and we will dwell
with the saints in all their glory and the Christ Who taught us well ... of this ....)
in this humble unheroic life
this humble, unheroic life
cold cups of water and the widow’s mite
this humble, unheroic life

7.12.2012

Catching Up

It's been almost 2 months...oops....I'll make a small attempt to catch up with some snapshots of what we've been up to lately....

Lot's of trips to the zoo...

 Pepper Place every Saturday which then translates into lot's of cooking with all the fresh goodness we purchase- here is an Heirloom Tomato Pie


 My "big boy" has been so fun lately...love seeing his sweet little heart and being able to have conversations with him now. Here he is giving me flowers that he picked at the park...melt!


My little cuddle bug...


Lots of baby food making for Jackson....which works out nicely since pepper place is in full-swing and so much stuff is in season
lots of wrestling......Jackson can give big bro a run for his money
Lots of time spent with our best bud before they moved:( 
Lots of baking....
and cooking with yummy summer stuff like fresh grilled corn and avacado (this is a chilled avacado soup that I was experimenting)




A little gardening...

A new summer dish at Ashley Mac's...Chicken Orzo Salad









6.16.2012

A few must reads for moms

If you haven't heard of Laura Black (a mom of 3 from Briarwood that is dying of cancer) you have to check out her caring bridge site. Her journal entries are absolutely incredible. She writes letters to her kids and...wow.....just go read.
http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/lblack/journal

One of my dear friends from college started a company/website called Shepherd My Child. It's all about how to intertwine the Gospel of Grace in EVERYTHING with your children. She's an incredible writer and her website also points to many books and resources for us to use with our children.
http://shepherdmychild.com/

Finally, I just read the best "parenting" book....if you even call it that....I think the Lord used it just as much to teach me of my constant need for His Grace as it did about how to teach that to my kids. Seriously, I wouldn't say this about just any book but I am SO SO thankful to have read this while my kids are still young...so many profound but also practical points. It's not a "5 steps to how to raise your kids to be good kids book".  I love this quote from it: "We hinder our children from coming to Him when we inadvertently teach them that the good news is meant for good people". I've already started to change the way I phrase things to Ryder. Instead of "Ryder, you are being such a good boy" I say "Ryder, wasn't it so kind of Jesus to help you be obedient today!" Or even with potty training we'll say "Ryder we are so proud of you! No accidents today! But you know even when you have accidents we're still proud of you because you are our son and we love you no matter what" etc etc. Things that we all know to be true but I don't always choose to take the time to speak in that way. It's so neat to see how God changes my own heart and I see my own need for the gospel as I'm trying to teach my 3 year old.

"Give Them Grace by Elyse M Fitzgerald and Jessica Thompson
http://www.amazon.com/Give-Them-Grace-Dazzling-Jesus/dp/1433520095/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1339897847&sr=8-1&keywords=give+them+grace

4.24.2012

Best Kid CD's Ever!

I found these amazing cd's from, what else, another blog! So, I thought I would share because seriously, I can't even tell you how much I'm obsessed with them! They are called Seeds Family Worship and it is all scripture put to music....they are the most precious songs in the world. Some of them can be cheesey...but for the most part I love them as much as Ryder does. And it just melts my heart when I hear Ry in the back seat singing scripture....and like I said, it's just as good for me as it is for him! (I probably need to hear it more...in fact, I find myself driving around town listening to them with no kids in the car)
So Ryder now can quote/sing several Bible verses all by himself. Love it.
Ok, so, now you MUST go buy them(:

You can read about the ministry here and see all they have to offer
http://www.seedsfamilyworship.net/about/

I paid a lot more than this but just saw these on sale!!! Might go ahead and get the rest of them now!
http://www.christianbook.com/Christian/Books/product/1288062971?item_no=CD04429&event=CF

4.09.2012

If you ever go to Napa....

....take your hubby... and 6 amazing friends........rent a limo for the day to take you around to the wineries which provides for lots of togetherness...and lots of wine drinking...
...take a tour of a winery so you can learn all about the deliciousness your drinking...
...make sure you take some comedians with you......
....stop to pose for pictures.....

....wear your shades so you can fit in with all the A-Listers that you might spot around town...
...rent a nice cozy house so you can all be together after a rough day in wine country.....


Indulge in the amazing food at Bouchon......

...Go on an olive oil tour and tasting.....
....and a wine pairing complete with Duck Confit
If blogger wasn't such a pain to upload pics to then I would add more of the 450 I took....but I guess you can get the idea from above.....a trip you should definitely put on your bucket list if you haven't been!

3.27.2012

4 Months!

My little Jackson is 4 months now and such a JOY!

He smiles all the time! Today he chuckled at me several times and I wish I could have stopped time and done that all day long!

In between smiles...he spits up...what must be gallons of milk! Anyone else have babies that did this? I am not kidding, I can't take 5 steps without having a burp cloth handy...it's amazing he's so fat.

Ok, so maybe he doesn't smile all the time....he cries between 2-7 on and off (and 30 minute cat naps here and there) and I am so ready to get him on a nap schedule. He naps great if we are in the car, in the stroller, or doing anything but in the house trying to take a nap! I'm not sure what's up with that...but he sleeps from 7-7 at night so I can't complain too much.

We had a little photo session in the front yard while our azaleas are in bloom...it's much easier to take pics of him than a 2 yr old, that's for sure.








Here's big brother and a few other random pics from the last week